I wrote this post for women who are great friends, but are at wit’s end about how to reach out to a friend who has lost herself over a man. You don’t want to give up on your friend, but you’ve started to run out of options. With that said, I’ve written a letter as a last option, a last hurrah.
I am writing this letter to you because I’ve run out of options to share my concern. We’ve been friends for a while, and I’ve always tried to be the best friend I could possibly be for you. Writing this letter is no different; I’m just trying to be a good friend.
I want you to know how special you are, even if you don’t think so. I’ve been there when things have gotten tough, and when things showed great promise. I will continue to be there for you, but I want you to take a second and actually listen (read) what I have to say.
I’m not sure if it’s something you dislike about yourself that allows you to continue down a road of grief. Yes, I understand how much time you’ve invested and how much love you given, but at this point it’s become wasted time and love. Listen, you can’t change a man and you can’t make a man love you the way you think you deserve to be loved. Those are two decisions he has to make on his own and after that decision is made, he alone has to act on it. There is nothing you can do to speed up the process or sway him in a particular direction.
Whatever it is inside of you that is causing you to think so blindly, you have to get a hold of it and conquer it. Whether it is low self-esteem, which is what I think it is, or the belief that he is the only one for you, please realize you are your own demise. Doing more and loving more will not change your situation, neither will sex or a baby.
Over the years, he has caused you so much grief; I know because I’ve listened to you. He treats you like you are disposable; I know because I’ve seen it. He has hurt you, made you cry, and has constantly disrespected you; I know because I’ve been there with you.
You are beautiful and smart. You have a bright personality and can accomplish what you choose to accomplish. You deserve the very best in life, and that includes a man who is deserving of you. A man who is good to you. You deserve a man who doesn’t cheat or call you only when he’s in need of a sexual favor. You deserve a man who isn’t jealous, angry, or verbally, mentally or physically abusive. You deserve a man who will provide, and will be around for the long run, not a man who pretends he wants to make you his wife, but one that actually will.
You have to believe that you deserve better though. You have to believe that there is a man out there who is God-sent. You have to believe that you deserve to be happy. You have to make the decision for yourself and then act on it. And don’t forget to pray; it may take time, but your prayers will be answered.
Stop stalling on the tracks before a train wreck occurs; it’s the last thing I want to happen to you.
Love you much,