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A letter to a friend

5 Tips for Valentine’s Day [4 the fellas]


We are all aware that Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark holiday. Not to mention, this holiday is definitely more geared toward women. Regardless of what we might think of the holiday, it’s not going anywhere. It’s here to stay. Now, I know there are a lot of men who are scrambling, trying to get things in order to show their woman that they get it. So, I’ve decided to help those who are hopeless, and don’t get it. Below, I’ve outlined 5 Tips for Valentine’s Day.

roses1. Flowers & Card

If you don’t do anything else, please send/give flowers to your woman. Nothing says “I love you” like a nice bouquet of  red roses, and a card from the heart. For those who aren’t in-love just yet, send/give pink roses instead. I personally don’t know a woman who doesn’t like flowers, or reading a card that is sentimental. This will be the setup for whatever else you have planned for your lady.

2. The Gift gift

The gift(s) you choose are very important. The gift will show how much thought you put into making sure you’re woman is happy. Fellas, do not, I repeat, do not, get your woman a practical gift. Get her something she wants, not needs. If you were thinking about buying her a coffee maker or a pot set, forget about it; unless she specifically requests something practical. Gift baskets, spa treatments, and jewelry always make great gifts. However, you know what your woman likes. So, get something you know will make her happy. And no, it doesn’t have to be super expensive.

3. Plans picnic

Do something memorable. That’s what these Hallmark holidays are about. Don’t just settle for the old dinner and a movie Valentine’s Day. There are so many things you two can do; try something new. Depending on your budget, you can go on a helicopter ride, or setup a picnic in the park. Whatever you decide, you should try to top the plans you had last Valentine’s Day.

4. Look the Part idris

This should come as a no-brainier. Fellas, when it’s time to go out, make sure you look dapper. I know a lot of women like when their men make a point to look good for them. Whether it be a fresh haircut, or a nice shirt, do come dressed to impress (your woman that is). You already know that your woman is going to look fly, so make sure you do too.

5. Show emotion hands

While, gifts, flowers, and cards are all very nice things. Nothing tops off a romantic evening like passion and heartfelt gestures. I’m not saying you should be a total sap, but you should express your feelings through words, and physical gestures, like hugs and kisses. Little compliments go along way. Trust me on this guys!

Follow these 5 Tips, and you will not fail this Valentine’s Day! Who knows; you might even get lucky. 😉

***NOTE: I know some of you may have just started dating the woman who you’re with. Please don’t think that you should skip out on spoiling your woman on Valentine’s Day. I’m not saying that you have to be as elaborate on your first Valentine’s Day together as you would on your 5th. However, you should do something that is memorable, and shows that you look forward to your future together.

Here’s a couple of links to give you ideas for Valentine’s Day gifts and dates.

Until Death Do Us Part or Until The First Of The Month

What has happened to the importance of marriage? It seems that the number of those who believe in what it stands for has dwindled severely.  This post is not about who should be allowed to get married, but rather why people are getting married just for the sake of being married. It is simply ridiculous that people are getting married left and right, and don’t even make it to a year of marriage. Why in the world were you married in the first place? It doesn’t help that a lot of these so-called real marriages ending in divorce before a year’s time, are being committed by celebrities. They are not setting good examples for those who admire them.

A good example of this issue, is the marriage that lasted a total of 72 days between Chris Humphries and Kim Kardashian. I believe their marriage was a sham from the beginning. I believe they  married on the basis of fame and fortune. It was obvious to onlookers that their relationship was not based on any true values. Based on an article on, most people would say that dating someone for two to three years is a good time frame to learn enough about that person before you decide whether marriage is suitable for your relationship. I definitely agree with that time frame. Kim K. and Chris Humphries were engaged after six months of dating. Based on their lifestyles, how could they possibly know each other well enough to jump into a marriage after six months?

I am in no way implying that celebrities should stick out a marriage that is harmful to those involved. However, I do believe that because of the lifestyles celebrities lead, they have to apply extra care and attention to maintaining and securing their relationships and marriages. When celebrities like Kim K. and Chris Humphries get married and don’t take the commitment they made seriously, it can be damaging to those who do not have a good example of what a marriage is about and should be based on. I am not saying that people should look to celebrities for advice on how to lead a healthy relationship, but it seems that the younger generations are leaning more on what they see on TV rather than the examples set in their own homes.

While I know this is beating a dead horse, the media should shed more light on marriages that actually work. There are plenty of celebrities that are married and have security in their relationship. I am sure they applied more care and focus on strengthening and managing their relationships, which is why theirs works. A good example of a successful celebrity marriage is Denzel Washington and Paulette Washington. They obviously didn’t marry for the attention they would get, but rather the real reasoning behind committing to your partner until death do you part.

I am aware that no one is no longer talking about the 72-day marriage between Kim K. and Chris Humphries; this post was actually influenced by the marriage between Chad Johnson and Evelyn Lozada. They were married for a total of 41 days after Lozada filed for divorce after being involved in a domestic dispute. They dated for four months before becoming engaged. What happened to courtship? Their relationship was not based on real values, definitely not any values worthy of marriage. Johnson regularly cheated on Lozada, who was aware. That alone is a reason not to marry someone, and it happened to be the reason that the domestic dispute occurred.  Apparently there were several red flags before the marriage took place, but yet again, we have celebrities who are not focused on what a  marriage should be based on. Unfortunately, you cannot expect someone to change because they have a ring on their finger, especially if their behavior before the marriage was accepted.

Abuse is a valid reason for divorce, but it’s also a valid reason not to engage in a marriage. Johnson was found guilty for slapping a girlfriend in 2000 and had to complete a treatment program. People can change, but he obviously did not. This leads me to believe this probably isn’t the first time he’s hit her. However, that may be something we will never know.

All in all, marriage is taking a beating, and we have those who don’t understand what it should be based on to thank. No, I don’t think celebrities are the only ones who are tarnishing marriage; they just happen to be the focus in this post. I would also like to say that there are some successful marriages where the couple dated for a short period of time before getting married, but this doesn’t seem to be the case in Hollywood.

Below are links that I found some of the information used in this post:–nfl.html

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