Judge a Book by its Cover?

If we are friends on any social media website then you would know that I just came back from a trip to Miami. I had a wonderful time and have a lot of material to blog about, which brings me to my first post…

During my 3-day trip to Miami, I visited South Beach on Saturday evening and Monday afternoon. For anyone who has not been to Miami, let me be the first to tell you how beautiful it is near the water.

It was near the beach on Saturday night that I saw a lot of disturbing things.  I saw some of the most outlandish outfits I’ve ever seen in my life. Granted we were near the beach, it was after 10pm and women still had on bathing suits and bikinis. Most with no coverup. Aside from the beach wear (at night), I saw butt cheeks hanging out of shorts and breasts bulging from every angle. Then I saw several women being fondled by men and some didn’t even attempt to pull away. Immediately I thought about the discussion about women having the right to wear whatever they want without being disrespected.

Unfortunately, this is not our reality. I do believe women have the right to wear anything they want, but it will come with some consequences whether we like it or not. Why do some women choose to dress so inappropriately? Are they looking for attention? And when I say inappropriately dressed, I mean if your picture was placed side by side with the local prostitute there wouldn’t be any distinction of which woman was a street-walker. Now, I understand that women, including myself, like to look and feel sexy, but there are so many ways to do that without dressing inappropriately. Don’t get me wrong, I DON’T THINK ANYONE SHOULD BE DISRESPECTED BY ANY MEANS.  However, I do think women should be aware that unfortunately in today’s society SOME men relate inappropriate dress with disrespectful behavior. I think as women we have to put  more consideration and thought into how we want to be perceived because whether we know it or not, we are always being watched.

Here’s another way of thinking about it: If you see a dirty man with holes in every piece of clothing he’s wearing and raggedy shoes, you’d probably assume he was living on the street, right? Or if a woman came to your job with a navy blue pin-striped business suit and her hair pulled back, you would assume she was some type of professional, correct? Now, if you saw a young lady walking down Park Avenue with a fish net skirt showing her thong and a plunging neckline showcasing her leopard print bra, what would you think? Many people (women included) would think something disrespectful and not act on it, but unfortunately everyone doesn’t practice self-control.

Yes, women are disrespected even if they’re not proactively dressed. However, the way we dress is something we can control. It’s not like your nationality or the color of your eyes. I’m basically trying to say that it’s not fair to be disrespected for your choice of clothing, but be mindful that the way you dress opens doors to interpretation, negative or positive. We are more than what we wear, but the way we dress speaks volumes. It is up to us to decide what is said.

Take pride in all that you do.

Here’s some additional readings that you may find interesting:



About Tyla Times

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Posted on Tue.May.29.2012, in Life Lessons and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. I so agree!!!! As women we should wear things that make men desire us, not show off EVERYTHING. Our clothing should be long enough to cover everything, but short enough to keep it interesting and APPROPRIATE for the occasion.

  2. Congrats on your blog sweetie….Miami or south beach is one of my favorite spots I love da atmosphere. I agree with u 100% some women downgrade themselves which draws negative attention n dey wonder y dey always draw a disrespectful man. I love to look sexy especially for my man but we need to learn how to do it tastefully.

    • Thanks Nia (Don’t forget to subscribe/follow:))!! Yes, why draw negative attention to yourself? I think it says something about how your really perceive yourself. Like you and I both said, you can look sexy in a tasteful way!

  3. MzEminentZeta6

    Chile plz, my cheeks bout to be hanging out when I go down there the end of the summer. Lol j/k! My fiance’ would kill me. You can still look sexy while dressing appropriately. Being scantily clad is NOT whats hot. Then these same chicks sit around and complain why they cant find and KEEP a GOOD man. Smh. Check that attire ladies!

  4. well said .. us woman are more than what we are on the outside … our beauty is way more then skin deep and we must realize that and let men love us for who we are, not just whats on the outside … I will be sharing and supporting you, you know I always got your back … good job … love it sis 🙂

    • This is very true Danielle and well-said. I think when women truly realize that its exemplified by how they carry themselves.

      And you know I truly appreciate your support.

  5. U say all this – but I bet all you girls were flashing your thongs a few years ago??

    Be honest!!

  6. My girlfriend wears thongs… so are u saying theyre trashy?

  7. well thats a yes then… cos her thong shows over her jeans… I’ll have to tell her to throw herself in the nearest trash can now since thats obv where she belongs… 😦

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